Monster 19 : The Skunk Ape

From the trailer parks, senior centers, and swamps of the state that gave us the " Hanging Chad ", comes today's Monster of the Day, the Skunk Ape.
This hideous creature, get ready for this, peeks in people's windows, and smells.
Sometimes it lets out a scream. That's it. Spooky, huh?
Doesn't drink blood, eat babies, nothing like that. It just looks in the window
while you're trying to enjoy " Matlock ", farts, yells, and runs away.
I guess that explains a lot about Florida,
( ...just kidding Florida. Someday you'll get a real monster like the Sasquatch, or President Hillary Clinton).

Monster of the Day # 16 1/2

I was thinking about this guy all day, and decided to do color version of the Thark.

Monster 18 : Martian

I love Martians. Edgar Rice Burroughs, H.G. Wells, Ray Bradbury, I love all the different ways they are portrayed. So, in honor of some of the coolest books a
twelve year old boy could read, I present today's Monster of the Day.
As with all of the Monsters, click on the picture to see the full view.
( Can you believe that those Mars Rovers are still working? )

Monster 17 : The Seat Kicker

Today's Monster of the Day is actually a nice guy. The Seat Kicker is very friendly
and is a great conversationalist. He gets excited about the same films that you do!
Go to a movie, he's there, in the seat behind you.
Just as the alien/monster/psycho killer is about to attack, there go his feet, kicking at the back of your seat.
Little nudges at first, but then they progress to filling-loosening assaults. He can't help it, he's just so excited,(and look at the size of those feet).
But he's also embarrassed that he bothered you, and due to his lightning speed,
by the time you turn around to see who is doing it, he's gone.
So...you turn around and try to get lost in the movie again.
And he returns to the seat behind you, because he likes you.
Wait a minute....is the girl going into the same room that the killer is hiding in?
There go his feet again...

Monster 16 : Lucky Duck

Don't be fooled by today's Monster of the Day, Lucky Duck.
Sure, he's got a pleasant enough smile and seems friendly,
but one look in those eyes tells you everything you need to know.
He's the guy that gets the parking spot that you just saw, and
did a quick u-turn to try and get to it, and you get to the spot,
just in time to see him pull in.
He's the guy that gets the Scratch Off that wins $25,000. The same ticket that you were about to buy, but you had to run out to the car because you forgot your wallet.
He's the guy who gets to the interview first, because he was able to get on the elevator that you missed because all of the coffee you drank during your 45 minute drive suddenly kicks in and you have to find the bathroom.
He also gets the job because you leave a bad impression with HR, due to the giant wet spot on the front of your pants, due to the overflow of the artsy fartsy sink in the restroom.
I could go on, but you get the message. Just keep telling yourself that one day, he'll get his.
( He won't, but you knew that ).

Monster 15 : Bored as Hell

Today's Monster of the Day is " Bored as Hell ". Nobody, and I mean nobody can work a sigh or complain about being bored as a teenager can.
So, it's all this demon's fault when you are trying to drag yourself through another excruciatingly sloooooooooow day.
Don't worry, though. He'll get his. Even in Hell they have pop Algebra quizzes.

Men's Room Mauler

You're on the road, making good time but you're still a half hour away from home. You'll never make it and you know it.
It could have been the 99¢ " All You Can Eat Tacos " buffet. Maybe it was the sausage and biscuit from that fast food joint.
How it happens doesn't matter. What does matter is how quickly can you find a men's room before you have a non-tire related blow-out.
You pull in to the station, frantically get the key from the clerk, and rush to the door only to find....he's been there first.
That's right. Ordinarily you never get a peek at this elusive creature, but today is your " lucky " day.
Now you know who is to blame for the condition of almost every men's room in the nation.
Bookstores, cafes, etc., you name it, he hits them.
But the big question is...what do you do now?
The whistle is blowing, and the " train " is about to leave the " station ".
So I give you Today's Monster of the Day : the Men's Room Mauler.
( I'll bet the seat's still warm ).