Monster of the Day # 29 : the Parasite

Go on...eat that delicious soft-shell taco from the nice man pushing that cart on the street.
Mmmmmm...yummy.
There is a show on cable called " Monsters inside Me ", that is a real eye opener.
One story was about a woman who ate a taco, and then a few months later had blinding headaches, numbness in her limbs, etc.
The doctors found that she had a parasite in her brain, that had come from tacos she had eaten.
Pork tacos.
It seems this parasite, when inside a pig, lives happily inside the gut until that little piggy goes to the bathroom. Then he gets passed out, eaten by another pig, and this disgusting Circle of Life begins anew.
But, when it is inside a human, well, things get really crazy. It seems that there aren't the chemical clues that keep it in the intestines, and it migrates...to the tasty BRAIN.
Remember that delicious taco from the street vendor? Feel that little tickle behind your ear?
That's right. You now have a little friend. Today's Monster of the Day...the Friendly Parasite!
Have fun!

Monster # 28 : Mothman

What a stupid monster. Today's Monster of the Day is Mothman. Maybe I should explain.When I was a kid, ( well, even now ),I read anything I could, ( can ), get my hands on. Many times I chose a book strictly by its cover. Most times when it had a Frank Frazetta cover, I was in for a great read, but not with the
" Mothman Prophecies ".
Look at this cover:

Looks exciting, doesn't it? I bought the book, jumped into it, and was terribly disappointed as only a fat kid in Minnesota, in the dead of winter can be.
I mean look at it. The Mothman is gonna get those people. Lay a beating on the guy, and maybe a little insect-lovin' on the chick.
But no....nothing like that in the story. Based on some "true" events, this book was a yawnfest filled with sightings of glowing eyes, men in black, blah blah blah.
So...today's Monster of the Day is phoning it in...the Mothman.

Monster # 27 : BRIDEZILLA!

I can't help myself. I can't resist the strident shrieks, the insane tantrums, the out right kookiness of today's Monster of the Day, Bridezilla!
Don't these ladies, (hahahahah..ladies), know that long after the taping is finished, that all of their behavior will not only be shown on television, but will also be in reruns, and available as DVDs?
There is something hypnotic about these skanks. If you don't believe me, look at the men who are bound and determined to marry them. What is the malfunction with these guys? Is this really the best they can do? Really? I mean REALLY REALLY?
REALLY REALLY REALLY?

Monster # 26 : the Tuber Terror

Today's Monster of the Day is the Tuber Terror. This feisty little hybrid is quite the garden gremlin. Part potato, part carrot, and all attitude.
It wants to party in YOUR salad!

Monster # 25 : The Substitute Teacher

(whew...almost didn't make it. I was busy doing stuff and almost forgot..Anyhow, my son was the inspiration for today's Monster of the Day, the Substitute Teacher. This fearsome creature appears whenever your regular teacher is too sick or hung-over to come in to work.
Look at those fingers. Hard and bony, and sharp like knives. And she'll dig them into your neck when she catches you screwing around the pencil sharpener.
Don't forget her breath. This little lady likes black coffee and unfiltered Camels. but you'll find that out as she insists on talking to everyone, one on one, as she corrects your math homework.
And don't...)

What? Me? I didn't do anything. You want me to come up there? Oh man......

Monster 24 : El Chupacabra

Olé! Today's Monster of the Day comes from South of the Border, down Mexico way, El Chupacabra!
I always wondered if somewhere out there, there was also a goat Van Helsing to combat this blood-sucker.

Monster 23: Let's Party!

So last night, I get an invite to a party. A real last minute sort of thing, around 9:30 pm.
What an exciting, all-nighter! Chills, sweating, nausea, not to mention the sort of throbbing headache that makes you think that Moby is spinning discs in your brain.
Just when I was about to go to sleep, this Party Dude said, " c'mon...you can't wuss out yet. Let's go another round. "
So, I give to you today's Monster of the Day, The Party Dude.

Monster # 22 : Peeping Tom

That feeling you get, that someone is watching you...well, that's this guy,
Peeping Tom, not that stupid stack of money with the googly eyes on top.

Monster 21 : Monty

Today's Monster of the Day is Monty. When you wake up, in the wee hours, and turn on the TV, and start to watch those infomercials, he's the guy that
whispers in your ear that you NEED that stupid blanket with the sleeves.
Or that shammy from the guy who isn't afraid to put a beat-down on a working girl.
Or the pill that EXTEEEEEEEEEEEENDS a certain part......
Anyhow, you buy it and wait patiently for it to arrive.
Take it out of the box, and then you realize that you are a dope.
But relax. It's not your fault. If Monty didn't have such a good line of patter,
you'd never fall for these commercials.
Do yourself a favor and just go back to sleep.



(Psssttt.....wake up! That cartoonist is getting a cup of coffee. Now grab that credit card and buy that Ab-Roller. Hurry up before he comes back...)

Monster 20 : Martian #2

Like I said, I love Mars and Martians. Here we see today's Monster of the Day...one of the Martians from H.G. Wells " War of the Worlds ".
He is enjoying a Businessman's Lunch.
Hmmmm...delicious hemoglobin,
Click on the Pic to see the larger view.

Monster 19 : The Skunk Ape

From the trailer parks, senior centers, and swamps of the state that gave us the " Hanging Chad ", comes today's Monster of the Day, the Skunk Ape.
This hideous creature, get ready for this, peeks in people's windows, and smells.
Sometimes it lets out a scream. That's it. Spooky, huh?
Doesn't drink blood, eat babies, nothing like that. It just looks in the window
while you're trying to enjoy " Matlock ", farts, yells, and runs away.
I guess that explains a lot about Florida,
( ...just kidding Florida. Someday you'll get a real monster like the Sasquatch, or President Hillary Clinton).

Monster of the Day # 16 1/2

I was thinking about this guy all day, and decided to do color version of the Thark.

Monster 18 : Martian

I love Martians. Edgar Rice Burroughs, H.G. Wells, Ray Bradbury, I love all the different ways they are portrayed. So, in honor of some of the coolest books a
twelve year old boy could read, I present today's Monster of the Day.
As with all of the Monsters, click on the picture to see the full view.
( Can you believe that those Mars Rovers are still working? )

Monster 17 : The Seat Kicker

Today's Monster of the Day is actually a nice guy. The Seat Kicker is very friendly
and is a great conversationalist. He gets excited about the same films that you do!
Go to a movie, he's there, in the seat behind you.
Just as the alien/monster/psycho killer is about to attack, there go his feet, kicking at the back of your seat.
Little nudges at first, but then they progress to filling-loosening assaults. He can't help it, he's just so excited,(and look at the size of those feet).
But he's also embarrassed that he bothered you, and due to his lightning speed,
by the time you turn around to see who is doing it, he's gone.
So...you turn around and try to get lost in the movie again.
And he returns to the seat behind you, because he likes you.
Wait a minute....is the girl going into the same room that the killer is hiding in?
There go his feet again...

Monster 16 : Lucky Duck

Don't be fooled by today's Monster of the Day, Lucky Duck.
Sure, he's got a pleasant enough smile and seems friendly,
but one look in those eyes tells you everything you need to know.
He's the guy that gets the parking spot that you just saw, and
did a quick u-turn to try and get to it, and you get to the spot,
just in time to see him pull in.
He's the guy that gets the Scratch Off that wins $25,000. The same ticket that you were about to buy, but you had to run out to the car because you forgot your wallet.
He's the guy who gets to the interview first, because he was able to get on the elevator that you missed because all of the coffee you drank during your 45 minute drive suddenly kicks in and you have to find the bathroom.
He also gets the job because you leave a bad impression with HR, due to the giant wet spot on the front of your pants, due to the overflow of the artsy fartsy sink in the restroom.
I could go on, but you get the message. Just keep telling yourself that one day, he'll get his.
( He won't, but you knew that ).

Monster 15 : Bored as Hell

Today's Monster of the Day is " Bored as Hell ". Nobody, and I mean nobody can work a sigh or complain about being bored as a teenager can.
So, it's all this demon's fault when you are trying to drag yourself through another excruciatingly sloooooooooow day.
Don't worry, though. He'll get his. Even in Hell they have pop Algebra quizzes.

Men's Room Mauler

You're on the road, making good time but you're still a half hour away from home. You'll never make it and you know it.
It could have been the 99¢ " All You Can Eat Tacos " buffet. Maybe it was the sausage and biscuit from that fast food joint.
How it happens doesn't matter. What does matter is how quickly can you find a men's room before you have a non-tire related blow-out.
You pull in to the station, frantically get the key from the clerk, and rush to the door only to find....he's been there first.
That's right. Ordinarily you never get a peek at this elusive creature, but today is your " lucky " day.
Now you know who is to blame for the condition of almost every men's room in the nation.
Bookstores, cafes, etc., you name it, he hits them.
But the big question is...what do you do now?
The whistle is blowing, and the " train " is about to leave the " station ".
So I give you Today's Monster of the Day : the Men's Room Mauler.
( I'll bet the seat's still warm ).

Monster 13 : Karaoke Kreep

There you are, sitting in a bar, quietly sipping your drink,
ignoring that menu of songs, next to the napkins on your table,that are available on the Karaoke machine.
Suddenly, out of the darkness comes a person, man or woman, doesn't matter.

But what does matter is that while they have been enjoying their adult beverage of choice, this little guy has been convincing them that what

the world really needs, right now, is for them to belt out a rendition of " Feelings".
Or " The Piña Colada " song.
You know, those songs from the Seventies that you really wish hadn't
made it to the digital age.
The only way to combat this vile creature is to drink three Kamikazes
in rapid succession, and then proceed to sing the entire Karaoke catalog
of the Beatles' songs.
Yeah...that's the ticket! That's what the world really needs.
Do it. Do it now!

Monster 12 : Twin Pines Lunatic

" Meatballs" is a favorite movie of mine. Maybe it's because I had learned all of my romantic techniques from the Bill Murray character. Maybe it's because of the clunky acting, or that bushel of hair on top of Christopher Makepeace's head. Or maybe, it's this scene from the movie that still cracks me up. Let's join the campers around their fire...
"I remember a night like this a few years ago. A guy and a girl went out driving.
It was one of their first dates.
It started out kind of casual, but they ended up deciding to go park.
Not too far from here, as a matter of fact.
They're going at it, listening to the radio.
All of a sudden, a news bulletin broke in:
'Dangerous lunatic has escaped... from the
hospital for the criminally insane at Two Pines'."
"Oh, come on, Trip."
"They described him as a monster, six and a half feet tall,
280 pounds... with one horrible,
distinguishing feature... a sharpened, stainless steel hook..."
"Oh, God."
"...Where his right hand used to be.
That was enough for the guy. He slammed the car into gear,
floored it, bounced off a tree... didn't stop till they got
to the girl's house.
Got out of his side, walked around to hers.
There, hanging in the door, covered with blood... was a stainless steel hook.
The strangest part is that after all these years...
after the biggest manhunt in Two Pines' history...
they never found the killer.
Some people say he's still up here in the woods...
waiting for the chance to kill again.
And I say... I say they're right! "
Then, the classic wrap-up to this scene:
"That's a bullshit story."
"You guys, it's true. I heard it before."
"I heard it was on a beach."
"Yeah."
" I heard it happened in a park."
" I heard it, but the guy was missing a foot."
"How could the guy have a hook on his foot?"
So, today's monster, with Hook On Foot, is the Twin Pines Lunatic!

Monster 11: Candy Corn Creeps

I hate candy corn. I hate the waxy texture, the way it smells, and the pasty , sugary-wrongness of the aftertaste.
I'm serious. To me, candy corn ranks right up there with the equally foul circus peanut, and the weird Christmas candy my mom used to buy. It looked like ribbons
and when you sucked on it, the edges would become like razors, cutting your tongue and cheeks.
I know, what says " Merry Christmas " better than a bloody mouth?
So, today I present the Candy Corn Creeps. I hate them.

Monster 10 : Fungi Fun Guy

Here's a Fungi who is also a fun guy! He'll make the pizza run without a fuss, but don't ask him to use a coaster.
He likes to leave rings. He's kind of a jerk that way.

Monster 09 : Hopalong Zombie

Here we are with today's Monster of the Day, Hopalong Zombie.
I guess he comes from my love of westerns, and zombies.
He's really working that jerky.

Monster 08...WHADDAYOULOOKINAT ?

Inspired by one of the stupidest shows on tv,( Monster Hunters, IMHO), comes today's monster...the Jersey Devil.
Deep in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, lurks the Jersey Devil,( along with other mythical beasts, such as the albino cannibal family, the Jackson Whites, and an escaped Russian Special Forces member with a head wound).

Monster 07: The Yeti

Today's monster is that all-time favorite, the Yeti.
Here we see him in his natural habitat, about to enjoy a Sherpa snack.

Monster 06: The Interview

In this economy, monsters don't create the terror that a job-less future does.
( By the way, the man didn't have to worry about his future, the monster ate him. I mean, c'mon,
it's still a monster, job or no job. But the monster did get the position.
HR was really impressed with its people skills ).

Monster 05...Chicken Heart

When I was a kid, Bill Cosby was known for being a stand-up comic,( this was before he started yelling at black people to act right),and one of his funniest bits was called " Chicken Heart ".
Anyhoo, this monster was inspired by that.

Monster 04

This creature was inspired by me and my son watching " Mythbusters " episode dealing with sharks.

Monster 03

Just gotta keep drawing those monsters. This guy may only be two inches tall, but he'll
still give you quite a pinch.

Visible monster

I always like those " visible..." models, so I created this visible monster.

Monster 01

I almost forgot that today is the first day of October. Got to start it off with a monster.
That's just how I roll.

Reindeer Poop!

My latest animated spot, for a client in Maine. This was a lot of fun to work on.
Once they get the products available for purchase on line, I will post the animation.